Should I Quit or Stay in this Job?
I want to quit my job. This job is not for me. Should I quit? I don’t feel I should be in this job.
I’ve heard hundreds of variations of this question from people who talk to me 1 on 1 to talk about their problems with their jobs or careers.
A job or career is like any other part of your life. It is simply another relationship that you’re in. It requires evaluation, constant self reflection to check for compatibility and future planning. If you work on it with the right person with the right attitude, it becomes great, fulfilling, and you build each other up.
When do I think you should quit?
I gauge this in terms of which stage a person is in terms of their relationship with their work.
- Survival mode
you are literally being threatened in your current environment. You have people out to destroy you, get you fired, physically and emotionally abusing you on purpose and you’re literally hanging by a thread — -> Get out ASAP if you can afford it. Ask for help from loved ones if you can’t to support you in the meantime while looking for a new opportunity.
2. Insecurity centric
You’re expecting certain needs from your job that is quite personal.. You NEED praise, recognition, status, rank to make yourself feel better about your life otherwise you feel bad about yourself. You get triggered when you don’t get these OR when other people get them even when they’re deserving of it. This is pretty much relying on external things to define your sense of happiness.
Either way, you’re bringing your emotional baggage to your work environment as a form of compensation.. In which case this is entirely dependent on how much your employer will cater to your personal problems OR you just really need to acknowledge that you need to work on your own crap.
3. Actualization
You know who you are and what you want to be doing. You genuinely feel that being in this job is simply a choice and it doesn’t define your sense of self worth. If you’re here, you very likely are fairly secure in yourself both credentials-wise and choice wise.. I suggest having a conversation with your leaders to see if you can work on something that really aligns with you — or move on to something else where you can thrive like crazy.
Maybe that means joining a different company. Maybe that means starting your own venture. Either way, when you’re in this state, it means you’re not worried about your sense of security, emotional safety as you have those dialed in and you’re ready to declare what you desire in your career direction that will allow you to really thrive in life.
Figure out where you are, then make the decision that feels right to you irregardless of what your boss, friends or what you think other people will say. The voice that matters the most in this is yours.
